Posts Tagged ‘loneliness’

Holiday Quiet (is not always peaceful)

I don’t think I have ever noticed it quite so clearly before, but it feels like the city (world) really does go “off-line” over the Christmas / New Year period. The streets are quite, the shops are closed. People stay home or with family (or if they’re unlucky, they still have to work.) I imagine this time of quiet for many people is a respite from the usual fast-pace that life can be.

What happens to those who are less connected though?

Those without families?

Those with families but who live alone?

Who have more less-structured days or alone times?

Those who are having a rough time but whose usual supports are having a (well earned) break?

Volunteer and support services are often closed. For me I know that it is not only the “clients” but the volunteers that this can have profound effect on.

The less connected can become and feel even more disconnected. More lonely.

Neighbours and friends are around, but many go off the radar, either spending time with family or just taking some much needed time out. This is understandable.

Some times big things, unexpected things or crises happen which throws usual patterns out of whack, compounding the challenge of getting through an already difficult time with less resources. This is life. These things happen.

What do we do in this time if we feel like we have little to hold on to, to tether us? We sit quietly trying to pass our days, wondering what on earth to do ourselves and hoping that things will improve when the world turns back on again. Or at least that seems to be what I’m doing. You might have a different way. Please share if you care to. We all have our own ways.

For someone whose days and weeks are structured much differently to many peoples, I’m hanging out for the city to turn its lights back on, for the pedestrian and car traffic to pick up, for shop doors to open, routines to recommence, volunteer gigs to kick off in the new year, markets that sell strawberries to light up and regular, trusty routines to return.

In the mean time, what is there to learn from this? I suppose if we take the time (and head space), we can note by their absences what things are just so important in our day-today lives and work on strengthening them in the coming year (and maybe even plan ahead for future times.) In the middle of potential emotional tumult, we can discover who is able to offer tendrils of connection or hope when we need them most (and from whom we might find them mos helpful.) If we find them (I have) then we can acknowledge them with gratitude. We can be reminded of why sometime Facebook really can feel like it offers a life-line, whether or not we engage with it. We can understand and empathize just a little more with others who are struggling in their own or similar ways.

I think most at this time, we (I) can acknowledge what I already knew – just how important  connections with other people are and how treasured different types of relationships can be. From simple waves and sidewalk conversations to shared cups of tea, to crossing paths at local markets (and more…) They all have their place, and I am grateful that I have enough of them to notice their absence when they are not there. My wish – my New Year wish (and resolution?) – is that some how all might be able to find even just some of these connections, and that I might be able to play a small role in offering them as well as receiving them.

J X