That portrait behind you.

When someone believes that your sexuality, or in the very least, acting on your same-sex-attraction is wrong in some way, it is nigh impossible to forget. 

Even in the better scenarios where, despite every interaction and conversation being one where spoken judgement or condemnation are reserved, where every response and interaction has been filled with respect, compassion, and love… Still.

Knowing that in some way someone thinks you’re not okay, or rather, that your sexuality is in some way wrong, hangs behind them in every thought, image, and interaction, like a portrait that you can never unsee. It cuts deep. They stand in front of it and speak only kindness, and mean only kindness, but you can still see the portrait and you know that it is still saying, in some way, “there is something wrong with you.”

I am grateful when people can love beyond a sexuality that they don’t understand or struggle to accept or approve of. 

I’ll be more grateful still when that portrait is replaced with a more gentle picture.

Be careful with your words, but please, be even more inquisitive and gentle in your thoughts. Dare to wonder how much you can actually “know”, and for those of you who already do, be brave to hand over even that uncertainty and just love. Take down that portrait. Please.

God surely won’t condemn you for that. Nor, I doubt, will it send the world to hell in a hand basket or be the downfall of society.

Johansen X

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3 responses to this post.

  1. As one with same-sex attraction like you, I understand how attitudes can hurt. But I really do believe that people shouldn’t have to censor their own thoughts. People will disagree with either what we feel or how we live – and often they have completely impersonal, theological reasons that are nothing to do with hate. I guess it goes for sexuality or anything else we might choose to identify ourselves by. For instance, when I was a teenager, every family meal I had was an arena in which my father blasted me with derisory comments, snubs and arguments because I had decided to follow Jesus. Could I cut myself off from my dad without trying to fix things first? No. Could I run away, crawl into a hole and die of a broken heart? No. We can’t set up a protective fortress around ourselves against others’ self-expression. The best we can do, I think, is as you’ve said, disagree kindly. Then learn to tolerate them and to love them as they seem to be trying to tolerate and love us. Maybe there is some healing that needs to happen if someone’s disagreement with he thing we love, causes us emotional agony to the extent that we would ask them to change their private thoughts.

    Reply

    • I agree with you. I don’t think it stems from hate, or at least not what I’m talking about here. I don’t think anyone should be prevented from speaking their beliefs or from holding their beliefs. My intent is not to try to silence anyone, but simply try to help some people understand the way their words may be interpreted or the potential emotional impact they may have. Also, I think asking someone to question their belief isn’t wrong. Assuming they will or should change them to accommodate ones self is different. I think it is helpful for ALL of us to be able to question what we believe and why. Thanks for your comment 🙂

      Reply

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