Today is my birthday. I’ve always loved birthdays. I’ve always loved Christmas. New Year I can take or leave.
As an adult, birthdays have remained special to me. While so many have reached a “meh” point with them, for me each one has marked another year that I have kept myself alive. That is no easy feat.
Birthday and Christmas celebrations have always run together. It’s just been a special time of year.. The lights, the carols, the good-will (for those of us who are lucky enough to experience it.) Decorations, trees, traditions. It has always held some kind of magic.
This year it has been a bit different. It all started off the same with the excitement, the lights, the magic. All was well.
But life happens.
For the first time ever I felt to some degree what many others feel at this time of year. The magic disappeared, I’ve been exhausted and dreading obligations (but still lucky enough to have family obligations.) I have just wanted to run off to some bush retreat(or hunker down at home) until it had all passed and things were back to normal (whatever that is.)
I thought that this year would just be a write-off, the year to go down in history as that Christmas that I would just want to forget.
But… Some times it just takes something small to change things. For me, I called on a friend, a neighbour, and asked her if she would be up for a morning cuppa on my birthday. I just wanted an hour of something small and normal to look forward to. She bought be breakfast at a local cafe. The weather was perfect (the heat of the day is yet to hit.) In that hour, I couldn’t have asked for more.
That breakfast, that “small” but lovely start to my morning has shifted something. I am grateful. I think that maybe, just maybe some of the magic has seeped back in.
I am lucky. I have so much and so many good people. With just that tiny hint of the misery that engulfs so many at this time or year for so many reasons, I think my perception of how hard it can be might have shifted that little bit from head knowing to heart knowledge.
I hope that others, whatever is going on, can find even just a tiny spark of magic this year, and if not, that they are able to endure the darkness in the hope of better things in times to come.
Peace be with you.
J X
'Johansen Words' 